4. Sarah Palin VS Lady Gaga

Sarah Palin vs Lady Gaga
Society Women

Sarah Palin (Lisa Nova)

Sarah Louise Palin

Former Alaskan governor and former Republican vice presidential nominee for John McCain towards the 2008 US elections who happened to have less than required knowledge about politics costing the party a large number of votes. Her daughter got pregnant considering at an unexpected stage in life.

She is a true hockey mom.

Lady Gaga (Nice Peter)

Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta

A fashionista, singer and actress who is not a stranger to scandals, she is rumored to be a hermaphrodite, refers to her fans as little monsters and carries teacups around. Her attempt at a showoff at a 2012 Yankees Game did not go down well with fans and critic alike.

She performed in the 2015 Academy Awards to tracks from the Sound of Music.

Mentions

Madonna – Popular singer and movie actor

Special Appearance – John McCain (EpicLLOYD)

Categorization: Societal Influencer

Lyrics

Sarah Palin:

Oh boy, look what we have here:

A transvestite with a keyboard trying to be freak of the year!

Your voice sounds like a rooster having sex with a frog!

They put a lot of lipstick on you, but you still look like a dog!

Put down that teacup, honey! Go put on some pants, and

Stop letting little monsters teach you how to dance, and

You may be Gaga, but you ain’t a lady at all!

I’ve seen those outfits you’ve been wearing: that takes big balls!

Lady Gaga:

I think I’d rather elect a smurf than vote for you.

Governor of Alaska? That’s like the principal of a home school.

You are the sum of everything I despise,

With the most dysfunctional family since the Jackson fucking Five!

Just trust me: your fifteen minutes of fame came and went.

Go back to your igloo. Spend some time with your kids before they’re pregnant.

Your frigid little body couldn’t even handle what I do.

I think the truth is, Sarah, my music just scares you.

Sarah Palin:

Your music doesn’t scare me! I’m a mother of five!

I killed moose with my bare hands before you were alive!

Everything you do is just a rerun of Madonna!

Your fans are in a frenzy like a bunch of gay piranha!

Lady Gaga:

I sound more intelligent than you when I fart!

I wonder if you even know how to spell the word “art”!

You don’t belong in politics; you belong in a hockey game!

History will regret you like J-J-J-John McCain!

 

References

Wikia

Youtube

Wikipedia

3. Abe Lincoln VS Chuck Norris

Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris
Battle of Resilience

Abe Lincoln(Nice Peter)

Abraham Lincoln

United States President whose declaration to end all forms of slavery led to a civil war which was decided with the Union Army defeating the Confederates at the battle of Gettysburg. Nicknamed ‘Honest Abe’, he was a rare type of politician since he was not known to lie. His face was carved as one of four US leaders on Mount Rushmore  South Dakota USA.

He was assassinated with a bullet to the head by John Wilkes Booth.

Chuck Norris (EpicLLOYD)

Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris

Martial arts expert and movie actor with a signature roundhouse kick. Known as Boss in the Return of the Dragon movie where he was defeated by Bruce lee. He founded his own martial arts school Chun KuK Do, is a Republican and a charity believer.

Chuck Norris Facts is an internet sensation of fans making up claims like rap music originated from Chuck’s heartbeat, catches bullets with his beard among others.

Mentions

John McCain – a US elections presidential candidate who lost to Barack Obama

Walker, Texas Ranger – A TV series show starring Chuck Norris

Categorization: Resilience

 

Lyrics

Abe Lincoln:

Four score and 65 years in the past,

I won the Civil War with my beard! Now I’m here to whup your ass!

I’ve read up on your facts. You cure cancer with your tears?

Well, tell me, Chuck. How come you never sat down and cried on your career?

You’re a washed-up has-been on TV selling Total Gyms,

And you’re gonna lose this battle like you lost Return of the Dragon!

I’ll rip your chest hairs out, put ’em in my mouth.

I’ll squash you like I squashed the South!

I never told a lie, and I won’t start now.

You’re a horse with a limp; I will put you down!

Chuck Norris:

This isn’t Gettysburg, punk. I’d suggest retreating,

For I invented rap music when my heart started beating.

Chuck Norris doesn’t battle. He just allows you to lose.

My raps will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth.

Abe Lincoln:

I’ve got my face on the side of a mountain. You voted for John McCain!

I’ve got a bucket full of my head, and I’m about to make it rain!

You block bullets with your beard? I catch ’em with my skull!

I’d make fun of Walker, Texas Ranger, but I’ve never even seen that show!

Chuck Norris:

I am Chuck fucking Norris!

I’ve spread more blood and gore than 40 score of your puny Civil Wars, bitch!

I split the Union with a roundhouse kick!

I wear a black belt on the beard that I grow on my dick!

I attack sharks when I smell them bleed!

I don’t go swimming; water just wants to be around me!

My fists make the speed of light wish that it was faster!

You may have freed the slaves, but Chuck is everyone’s master!

 

References

Wikia

Youtube

Wikipedia

2. Darth Vader VS Hitler

Darth Vader vs Hitler
Evil Overlords

Darth Vader (Nice Peter)

Darth Vader

Villain in the sci-fi movie Star Wars. He became a scarface from his battle with his former Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi leaving most of his body in wounds or parts but saved by being made into a form of cyborg and joined opposing side the Sith and becoming its Leading Dark Lord.

His domination abilities included a mastery of The Force (a phschic ability), lightsaber fighting skills and a clone army of white Stormtroopers.

Hitler (EpicLLOYD)

Adolf Hitler

German dictator and leader of Nazi regime known as the Third Reich. An orator with brain washing skills, he became the initiator of the second world war (WWII) leading to the genocide of millions of Jews. Among other means of causing death, he had gas chambers designed to look like big shower rooms. His plans to wipe out the Jews ended with his defeat by the Allied Forces.

Hitler also had his Stormtrooper army. His signature look was a small moustache.

Special Appearance – Clone Stormtrooper (Morgan Christensen)

Categorization: Evil Overlords

 

Lyrics

Adolf Hitler:

I am Adolf Hitler: Commander of the Third Reich!

Little known fact: also dope on the mic!

You are Vader, with your little boots and cape,

And helmet to cover up that burnt-ass face!

You have the force to move objects; I am a force truly evil!

Even went back in time and turned you whack in the prequel,

‘Cause look at you! You’re not even a real person!

I preferred you in Spaceballs: the Rick Moranis version!

Darth Vader:

You can’t rhyme against the dark side of the Force! Why even bother?

So many dudes been with your mom, who even knows if I’m your father?

You’re a pissed off little prick with a Napoleon dick!

You call that a mustache? I call that Dirty Sanchez on your lip!

You bitch, let me remind you who you’re messing with!

Everything that you did, I’m the mother fucker who invented it!

I’m the original Dark Lord; you’re like the sorcerer’s apprentice!

My Stormtroopers make yours look like someone took a piece of shit and cloned it!

Adolf Hitler:

You stink, Vader; your style smells something sour.

You need to wash up, dawg; here, step in my shower!

I’ll turn all your friends against you; just my speeches breed haters!

What’s your lightsaber VS a clan of all your white neighbors?

Darth Vader:

*heavy breathing* Suck my robot balls!

Now, take a step back and let me freeze yours off!

A little carbonite bath for your goose stepping ass!

We’ll call my homeboy in Israel; see who got the last laugh!

 

References

Wikia

Youtube

Wikipedia

1. John Lennon VS Bill O’Reilly

1.John Lennon VS Bill O'Reilly - Epic Rap Battles of History
Music Celebrity vs TV celebrity

John Lennon (Nice Peter)

 

John Winston Ono Lennon

British born singer and one of the creators of globally renowned musical rock band the Beatles.   A drug user and was introduced to LSD by mistake when his drink was spiked with the hallucinogenic drug.

He Inspired ‘Bed-In’ a production/movement which led to popular slogan “Make Love Not War” by Billie Joe and Adriene Armstrong in 2006

Bill O’Reilly (EpicLLOYD)

William James Bill O’Reilly, Jr.

Former FOX News reporter known for his loud outbursts on live TV. Presents the news and has an audience’s view discussion on reported news.

An avid supporter of George Bush and sometimes accused of misrepresenting facts and also spurring audience to frenzied actions. Had a wild outburst with a producer named Sting

Mentions

Help! – Beatles song

Yellow Submarine – Beatles song

Can’t Buy Me Love – Beatles song

Maxwell’s Silver Hammer – a Beatles song about a medical student serial killer that bashed victims with a silver hammer

Right-wing political machine – US Republican party

Limey – British

George Harrison – a Beatles member

Paul McCartney – another Beatles member

Ringo – believed to be the least talented of the 4 man band

Yoko Ono – Second wife and widow to John Lennon (also adopted her surname)

Don Cheadle – Black American actor, producer and director

Categorization: Politically opposing views

 

Lyrics

John Lennon:

Help! You’re making my ears bleed! You need a muzzle!

Why are you pissed off all the time? Didn’t your mom give you a cuddle?

You’re the type of guy who could die of a heart attack just in the shower!

You need to chill out for a minute and smoke weed for an hour!

Every time I watch your show, all you do is scream at me,

And your face looks like a shit I took, high on LSD!

I’m John Lennon; I’m a legend! I can see through all your tricks!

I wonder how much George Bush paid you to suck his dick!

Bill O’ Reilly:

You fucking long hair, living in your yellow submarine!

Well, you’re about to get sunk by the right-wing political machine!

Stop your presses, Lennon! You call me Mr. Bill O’Reilly!

When it comes to squashing Limeys, I come recommended highly!

You’re weak! Between you and me, there’s no comparison!

I’ll beat you so bad, you’ll weep gently like George Harrison!

You’re Paul McCartney’s bitch with less talent than Ringo,

And I’d rather suck George Bush’s dick than Yoko Ono’s!

John Lennon:

Well, you can’t buy me love, but I’ll kick your ass for free.

I’ll take Maxwell’s silver hammer and give you a lobotomy!

I’m tired of how you scheme to stir the people up!

Why don’t you just take a vacation and shut the fuck up?!

Bill O’Reilly:

Because I’m evil, heart blacker than Don Cheadle!

Ten-thousand-dollar shoes I use to stomp out a Beatle!

Don’t tell me to shut the fuck up! That’s how I survive!

Now, here’s Sting. What? Fuck it, we’ll do it live!

 

References

Wikia

Youtube

Wikipedia